Maybe he or she works in your office; maybe you even met them at church. Feelings begin to take hold based on a host of reasons, and some of them are purely biological.
Indeed, infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. Instead, both partners can learn and grow from the experience resulting in a full recovery.
In fact, the injured partner will recover quicker if he or she is able to understand their part in the affair, says Heitler. This might include lack of affection within the relationship, fear of intimacy, or avoidance of conflict. The hurt spouse must get enough insight in order to feel that their partner will not offend again.
The offending spouse should also be transparent with all their communications such as mobile phone records and texts as well as computer emails and so forth. Eliminating any hiding behaviors will help the other spouse to recovery that much quicker.
He or she might say, for example: Part of this work is giving a heartfelt apology. Next, admit how your actions have affected your partner. This usually includes severe emotional pain but could also include inconveniencing their time, financial strain, and more.
Finally, promise to make up for your wrongs. Then do something nice for your spouse, such as agreeing to visit the in-laws or booking a weekend getaway.
Shame is common, both for the offending party and for the wronged partner. The latter might feel like he or she has screwed up the marriage in some way to cause this error. After time this feeling, or lack of feeling, goes away.
Possessiveness is another typical emotion. The thought that your partner has been with someone else may remind you how much you consider your partner your property. Annoyance because your partner has made a huge error in judgement that is affecting your life adversely.
Relief because the wronged party may have sensed that something was going on. Now that the cat is out of the bag, the two of you can finally work on the problem -- together. If you feel stuck in them, seek the wise counsel of a therapist. Finally, communicate with your spouse about these feelings.
If the relationship is shaking, ask him or her to simply listen while you calmly communicate exactly how you feel. This should pave the way for deeper communication later.While affairs can destroy the foundation of trust upon which a marriage is built, the cause of divorce typically precedes the affair.
In a study from the Divorce Mediation Project, 80 percent of divorced men and women cited growing apart and loss of a sense of closeness to their partner as the reason for divorce.
Only 20 to 27 percent blamed their separation on an extramarital affair.
Michael Formica, in his YourTango article 4 Types of Infidelity and How Affairs Help a Marriage, states the that “an affair can add fizz to a flat partnership — what was once stale gets refreshed by a new energy.” Second, if you’re having an affair you’re probably doing it because you’re missing something in your first relationship.
Not only can it destroy a marriage, it can hurt children and parent-child relationships. The good news is that many marriages survive, and can even become stronger. Joining me in the studio to talk about infidelity, Dr.
Scott Haltzman. An affair is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face, and nothing has the potential to destroy a marriage faster than infidelity. An extreme symptom of a relationship that has been in trouble for some time, affairs do not happen out of the blue - and rarely happen because someone is .
Aug 24, · With the right attitude (for both husband and wife) and with the right skills, any couple can build a loving post affair marriage.
There is always a lot of pain, hurt and anger, but those things can be overcome with love and security. The fatal blow to any marriage is an adulterous affair where one or both spouses think they "finally found his/her soul mate." Once convinced that he/she married the wrong person or that God put someone new in his/her life, the idea of divorce can take root and grow.
Blinded by the deception of the affair, most people have no idea how they got .